Botox Blues

I'm writing this from the hospital where my oldest son, Sasha, is undergoing his twice-yearly Botox injections.

Sasha has cerebral palsy, and the Botox relaxes the spasticicity in his muscles so that he can walk and stand. Even with the medicine, he still wears braces and walks very clumsily. But he's better off with it than without it.

The procedure is no fun, though, and I'm sitting in the waiting room having just held his hand as the sedation took effect.  He tried to be brave, but as he lay in the bed, waiting for the IV to be inserted, tears leaked from his eyes and he whimpered like a baby. Tears filled my eyes, too. It's so hard to watch.

But I told him soon he'll go to sleep and that I'll see him in his dreams.

It's hard for Sasha to have cerebral palsy and it's sometimes heartbreaking to be his dad. We so want the best for our kids. But here at the pediatric ICU, you can't help but feel lucky that you don't have it worse as you pass rooms where a team of doctors huddle around a child so small that you almost can't see him or you meet parents waiting for their daughter to be done with her third brain surgery. 

Then, all you can do is share a sympathetic smile and think guiltily to yourself I guess I don't have it so bad after all. 

And you wait for you child to wake up so you can hold him and kiss him and tell him that you love him. Like parents do, everywhere, everyday, all over the world. Like I am right now.

Comments

[Andrew]

You're right that Sasha doesn't have it as bad as some other kids do. There's one other thing Sasha can be really thankful for, and that lots of other kids miss out on -- he's got a great Dad. If we had more parents who treat their kids with the sensitivity and dignity that you do the world would be a much better place.

[Landya]

Scott:
This is beautiful.

Off to kiss my kids goodnight one more time, even though they are already sleeping peacefully.

[Scott Sherman]

Thanks for the nice words, Andrew. He's a great kid.

Landya, you can't love 'em too much, so kiss ahead!

[Ajlouny]

Came across this looking for information on the adverse effects of Botox and I have to say this was the more positive note and less vein approach of it's use. Thank you for sharing your love for your child. My turn to kiss my kids.